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Random Musings
An attempt at a freeform poem. 
24th-Feb-2010 09:18 pm
Avon's thoughts, right before Star One and his blow up at Blake.


Avon's Anger

I had a life
now I have none.
Only a ship
Stolen
From my grasp
A promise
To myself
Still waiting.

Dragged
Manipulated
With idiots
Led by a fool.

The instinct
to save
also works
with
a man
who does not think.
Can't think.
Irritating
pulling him back
endlessly.
Can't let him die.
Again
and again.
Damned instinct.

Betrayed by a master
pushed to obey
anger seethes
in me
I plan
ready
the refuge
wait for my time
and for yours to end
I am waiting

One more death will do it
I will take control

Your brand of arrogance
and idiocy
no longer amuses
it fills me
with anger
and hatred
a desire
to see you
no more.

Can't let him die.
But
now
don't want him to live
near me.
His face
fills me
with hate.

He sees this
finally.
How I
detest him.
No illusions
between us
Only parting
Only relief.

Insane dreams
Pointless
Blood
And violence
A fanatic
wading
in a sea of red.
I am drowning
in sickness,
in a disease
named Blake.

I had a life
now I have none
I am determined
to reclaim it
to tear it
from the grasp
of a madman
masking as
an honest man
I will live again
be happy again
to escape
this life of
darkness and endless violence
lies that never end
a bully masquerading
as a friend
used for
his political end

I will be
finally free.
Avon Angry
Comments 
26th-Feb-2010 01:18 am (UTC)
And for those who use this to point that Avon loved Blake. Compare it to Avon's response to someone he truly loved, Anna. When Anna tries to shoot him, Avon shoots her, ONCE, and then rushes to her side and holds her so that she won't fall to the ground and hurt herself. Blake? Avon shoots him 3 times and would have blown his head off if Blake didn't fall. And Avon lets Blake fall splat on the ground without lifting a finger. Anna betrays Avon, and Avon doesn't even get angry. He is very hurt but he forgives Anna and refuses to leave her dead body. With Blake? Avon gets angry and wants him dead.

I believe the only reason Avon was so shocked at the end and stood over Blake's body, after Arlen confirms that Blake was innocent, is that Avon made a horrible mistake and killed someone who was innocent. Avon cannot stand making mistakes and killing of innocents is not in his character. It shocks him. And he feels guilty and feels he owes Blake something, not to mention, Avon can't do anything else, he thinks he's about to die.

I highly doubt Avon's reaction was because he really loved Blake. I don't believe he ever did. A little yes.

Avon was too good a man to shoot Blake until after Blake's stupid answers and the whole moronic scenario Blake set up that provoked Avon into it.

Edited at 2010-02-26 01:21 am (UTC)
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