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Random Musings
An attempt at a freeform poem. 
24th-Feb-2010 09:18 pm
Avon's thoughts, right before Star One and his blow up at Blake.


Avon's Anger

I had a life
now I have none.
Only a ship
Stolen
From my grasp
A promise
To myself
Still waiting.

Dragged
Manipulated
With idiots
Led by a fool.

The instinct
to save
also works
with
a man
who does not think.
Can't think.
Irritating
pulling him back
endlessly.
Can't let him die.
Again
and again.
Damned instinct.

Betrayed by a master
pushed to obey
anger seethes
in me
I plan
ready
the refuge
wait for my time
and for yours to end
I am waiting

One more death will do it
I will take control

Your brand of arrogance
and idiocy
no longer amuses
it fills me
with anger
and hatred
a desire
to see you
no more.

Can't let him die.
But
now
don't want him to live
near me.
His face
fills me
with hate.

He sees this
finally.
How I
detest him.
No illusions
between us
Only parting
Only relief.

Insane dreams
Pointless
Blood
And violence
A fanatic
wading
in a sea of red.
I am drowning
in sickness,
in a disease
named Blake.

I had a life
now I have none
I am determined
to reclaim it
to tear it
from the grasp
of a madman
masking as
an honest man
I will live again
be happy again
to escape
this life of
darkness and endless violence
lies that never end
a bully masquerading
as a friend
used for
his political end

I will be
finally free.
Avon Angry
Comments 
26th-Feb-2010 01:18 am (UTC)
Avon had no cause to go find the armoury when he was already armed. So they had to have got it from one of Blake's people who tried to attack them. Avon went there to obtain help from Blake. He didn't go there to hurt anyone. Nor did the others, but the first thing Soolin does when she sees someone trying to kill Tarrant, is shoot to kill. That tells me by the time they found Tarrant, something has happened to prime them to treat people on the base as hostile.

And...hmm whose fault is that? Hmm...BI? Big Idiot? Who didn't bother telling his own people that he was expecting a friend and maybe they shouldn't try killing Avon's people? Either Blake is an even bigger moron than he was before or he's completely insane.

Tarrant doesn't understand? Well, guess what, even after you explain what you did, Blake, I guarantee Avon would shoot you for being a callous, arrogant moron because even after the explanation, no one understands why you would do something so incredibly stupid and callous.
- Blake then says he set this all up. Ok, on a scale of 1 to 10 for stupidity, with 10 being so stupid that it can't be believed, Blake ranks 20.

It's clear Avon believes Blake would betray him and he's very hurt and now, with this response, there is anger on Avon's face when he says, Yes! and brings the gun back around to point at Blake.
What idiot, after his people try to kill Avon's people, would blithely admit he set this all up? You set up your people to kill Tarrant and call the guards on Avon and have your flunky, Arlen come in armed and pointed at Avon the whole time? Yes, what a brilliant answer.

And, I don't ever believed Blake set up the base and the army for Avon. What lie is this that he set it up for Avon? God, this man is unbelievable.

- It's at this point, when Blake goes towards Avon again and says, I was waiting for YOU. Ok, the stupidity just piles on, doesn't it. Blake was waiting for Avon? Wow, is that why you played that stupid game with Tarrant to make him believe that you betrayed them all?

Is that why you didn't try to stop your people from trying to attack or kill Tarrant? Because you knew Avon was coming and wanted Avon to see how Blake treats Avon's people? Is that why you never bothered telling your own people that a friend was coming and not to treat them like the enemy? Oh, yes, you were waiting for Avon alright. So that you could set up a scenario so that he would be so pissed off, he would kill you.

- Now, an angry Avon shoots him. But notice the look on Avon's face after the first shot, he looks at his gun, shocked. I don't think Avon intended to shoot him, but Blake's movement forward after Avon tells him to stay still, triggers Avon's automatic response.
- Blake moves forward again. Avon fires again, till looking shocked.
- Blake moves forward again and Avon fires a third time.
- This time, Blake stops but is still standing. The shocked look on Avon's face disappears, and his eyes narrow, as if wondering why Blake is not falling. Then Avon, deliberately and slowly brings his gun up to Blake's head, prepared to blow it off.
- Then Blake's knees buckle, he pushes aside Avon's gun and grabs his arm. Calling out his me, "Avon," before he falls. And Avon lets him fall, another shocked look on his face, as if he just realized he made a serious mistake and maybe Blake didn't betray him. Avon stands stunned.

In terms of Arlen, I think Avon did know Arlen was armed and never put her gun down the whole time. I think it added to Avon's belief that Blake was hostile and would harm them. Because Avon doesn't like killing generally. He never does unless he or someone else is in direct physical danger and he has to act. The only exception was with Shrinker. But I think Avon may have considered it retroactive for what Shrinker did to Anna.
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