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You ever had those days when you wonder why you bother writing?… 
25th-Sep-2009 08:50 pm

You ever had those days when you wonder why you bother writing? Writing must be one of the most isolating things to do. Sitting in front of your computer, seeing words forming, but it's just you all alone.

You know people read, sometimes. But at others you wonder if they're all just a virtual illusion. Or dropping by just to humour you.

You write something funny and no one laughs. You write something sad and no one cries. You write something painful and there isn't even a prick of a reaction. It's as if no one feels anything. Either because they're not reading or, what you write doesn't even raise a flicker of an emotional response.

You draw a character lovingly, his emotions raw and exposed or unexpectedly tender but no one seems to notice. Or give him a rich, complex background and not a peep. Is it because its a character no one likes, they just don't agree with your portrayal, no one really cares or it's all been done before by other people who are better at it? It would be nice to know.

You write something to excite the senses and bring out the primal instincts, something sensual and enticing, but does it fall flat? Then why does no one say anything? Even a snicker would be nice.

But, don't mind me. I'm just depressed today. It seems to be going around. Maybe its catching. Still can't find a job. No one actually wants someone with experience. They're just looking for anyone who will be cheap. They see experience, 17 years, and run the other way.

Yeah, I worked my ass off all these years to get to a senior position only to get supplanted by someone who hasn't worked at all. This world sucks. Avon was right, money is the only reality. The corporate soul-less bottom line is what rules this world. Anyone who thinks otherwise is naive and ignorant beyond belief.

I'm going to resend my resumes and studiously remove all references to Sr. Systems Analyst. Maybe I should put Jr. Coder? Would someone believe me? I can cut and paste with the best of them. I won't think or anything. I promise. Cause I know, thinking means I'll be out of their price range. Wouldn't want that.

Think I'll make myself feel better by doing a rant about Blake, the embodiment of an evil brainless bully complete with pasty smile and false words to fool everyone. But Avon always knew.

EDIT: On another forum everyone seems to be blowing up at each other over nothing at all. Do we all need a release of some kind? Is everyone depressed? What is going on today? Is a full moon hiding behind the clouds?
Kal Writes
Comments 
26th-Sep-2009 02:32 am (UTC)
*hugs* I made this to cheer up muscadinegirl and it cheered me up. Maybe it will help you a bit, too. At least for a few seconds.

http://entropy-house.livejournal.com/1035412.html

I think everyone is depressed because things are generally depressing, and no matter what you write they're just... numb. :^(

Either that or they've been working their tails off and are too tired to think, which is a bad time to comment- it's easy to say something the wrong way in that state.

26th-Sep-2009 02:38 am (UTC)
Thanks. Sometimes, I just need to rant and feel sorry for myself. It's just been so depressing lately. It's been over a month since I lost my job and with the way things are going, it's just, oh well, it's just hard to keep a positive outlook. It starts to colour everything. Doing the photo illustrations have helped and writing always does, until today. Oh well, I'll get over it. Thanks for the support.

And thanks for the lovely Avon. He always cheers me up.
26th-Sep-2009 02:57 am (UTC)
Ranting is good. Anything that lets you vent is good. *huggles*

Sometimes physical activity helps- can you take a walk someplace pretty or do something else you enjoy that isn't sitting at the computer?
26th-Sep-2009 03:01 am (UTC)
I do take a walk everyday after dinner. For exercise. But I don't much notice the surroundings anymore and its late. Maybe I'll try to do something tomorrow.
26th-Sep-2009 03:09 am (UTC)
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
26th-Sep-2009 03:11 am (UTC)
Thanks. I hope it's a better day for everyone.
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