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Journal Entry: Technical (Mis)Service or Don't Make Me Come Over There! 
21st-May-2009 10:18 am
I am quickly coming to the conclusion that the only way for anything to work is to do it myself. Unfortunately, I may be the resident technical genius, but there is not enough of me to go around. I have to rely on other people.

Day 1 of Technical (Mis) Adventure

My computer and network access connection died yesterday. Couldn't do anything useful without it and in an entire building dedicated to technical research, there doesn't appear to be any spare ones. What a wonderfully productive day. Spent the entire time waiting for the resourcing people to come with the necessary parts to replace the defective ones.

Day 2 of Technical (Mis) Adventure

Was there ever any hope that the resource people would get here yesterday? Maybe in someuniverse that's not here apparently.

Called the help desk people this morning only to be told that the technician I talked to yesterday should never have told me that they could send someone out yesterday. $^&@

I was routed to a new technical service person who just informed me that someone should be calling this morning to setup a time for today. I'm not holding my breath.

Addendum: My (lack of) faith in humanity has not been shaken. End of day...still no call.

Day 3 of Technical (Mis) Adventure

Another day and another frustrating delightful adventure with the Technical DisService department.

The technician was supposed to be here at 9:30am.

9:30am, 9:31am, 9:32am.....maybe they're just a group of lying, incompetent idiots little late

9:40 am, 9:41am.....busy traffic? couldn't find anyone with brains a place to park ? Couldn't they at least contact me?
9:50 am, 9:51 am...obviously we should have sychronized chronometers...I should demand they send the parts and I will do it myself. Obviously they're too incompetent to even manage sending someone. I am not holding out hopes that they will be able to fix anything once they accidentally do.

10:00 am....this is getting ludicrous...activates vid-comm....response from service rep...the technician promised he would be there (yes and pigs can fly....not being cynical at all....)

Addendum: End of day. Still no technician. I would sabotage their computer systems if I had a functional computer and didn't need them to send parts.

Day 4 of Technical (Mis) Adventure

This is my conversation with the Technical (Mis)Service Department today.

Me: Hello, Technical Service? A technician was supposed to come this morning. I had an appointment for 9:30 am.
Technical Service service person (checks file): Yes he is supposed to. I will try to contact him. They will call you.

Me (exercising extreme patience): Alright.


Incoming vid communications...Amazing, they actually called (anticipating additions to the comedy routine that substitutes for technical service)

Technical Service tech: Hello, I'm the Technical Service technician. I am supposed to be coming to examine your computer and replace the defective parts.

Me: Yes?

Technical Service tech: Do you have the necessary parts there?

Me: Let me check. (Blanks vid screen and considers getting very big gun. If I had the necessary parts, I would have replaced it the day my computer malfunctioned instead of going through 2 days of service hell!)

Me (after checking with other prisoners colleagues on the off chance that someone might be hiding spare parts in their desk for the fun of it) : No we don't have the parts here. That's why I was forced to waste my time called you.

Technical Service tech: Oh.

(Me thinking...this is neither intelligent, eloquent nor a good portent of what he is about to say next.)

Technical Service tech: Well, normally all Technical Service technicians have the necessary parts to fix your computer..

(Cynical me thinking....here it comes...)

Technical Service tech: Unfortunately, I don't have one. I will have to put in a request and order it from somewhere. It should be here by Monday.

Me: You are telling me that you won't be able to fix my computer until Monday? (Today is Tuesday and while you're at it, order yourself a brain.)

Technical Service tech: That's right.

Me (grinding teeth in frustration): Can you tell me what time you will be able to come on Monday?

Technical Service tech: I can't give you a time frame.

Me: Can you at least tell me if this will definitely be done by Monday? I have crucial work backing up.

Technical Service tech: I can't say because I can't make any guarantees.

Me (making strangling motions with my hand now): So you're telling me that you don't know when you'll be able to come?

Technical Service tech: Yes. I'm sorry. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Me (thinking...apart from giving me back the last three wasted days of my life and bending over so that I can deliver a very painful customer complaint) The person I talked to on Wednesday, knew that my computer needed new parts. It's on your work order. There is a list of all the required parts, which I provided in detail. Why didn't your people make sure you got parts before today?

Technical Service tech: Normally all Technical Service technicians have the necessary parts....unfortunately I don't have one right now.

Me (thinking...did your dog eat it? got run over by a public transport vehicle? What fool stuck me with the only Technical Service technician who doesn't have necessary parts?......this is me not being cynical at all..) That doesn't do me any good.

Technical Service tech: I'm sorry. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Me (thinking...yes I have many suggestions but I don't want to get arrested...) No.

21st-May-2009 04:11 pm (UTC)
Relying on other people is always a weakness. It is a lie that they normally have the parts. What they have is an insufficiency of repair people, therefore they give you an unrealistic service call date to put in their records, and do not record the fact that they actually do not get there for two weeks.

What you should have done in the first place was go to the boss's office whilst he was on one of his two hour 'lunches' with his attractive secretary, and exchange your defective computer for his pristine, barely been touched, one. By the time he discovers it's not working, you may no longer be employed there. If you are, tell him that he broke it.

Edited at 2009-05-21 04:11 pm (UTC)
21st-May-2009 04:19 pm (UTC)
You have a devious mind. Are you free this weekend?
21st-May-2009 05:55 pm (UTC)
*grin* I'm rather expensive, actually. But I'm sure I could find time for lunch with you. We can discuss bosses from hell, and how to send them home.
21st-May-2009 08:31 pm (UTC)
I like expensive and intelligence is also a definite attraction *grins*
22nd-May-2009 12:09 am (UTC)
This could be the start of a beautiful-- and profitable-- friendship.
(Deleted comment)
21st-May-2009 08:27 pm (UTC)
Excellent suggestion. I hope you have a deep hole.
22nd-May-2009 12:48 am (UTC)
The Technical Services Technician obviously has a part missing. It is called a brain.
22nd-May-2009 12:55 am (UTC)
I would suggest he order one, but he would most likely get the request wrong.
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