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Journal Entry: Idiotic Project Management "Works" Idiotically 
10th-May-2009 01:24 pm
I've been staring at this computer for three days straight trying to fix the idiot's mess. Finally pulled off a miracle. Now the idiot manager is being hailed as the project 'savior'.

How can anyone possibly think this fool is successful? Half the time he relies on pure luck, despite an incredible lack of anything resembling brains. The rest of the time, people (namely me) bail him out of messes he's made in the first place.

My reward? A day at the physical rehab centre for stress and because I can't stand up without feeling as if someone is stabbing me in the back.

How is that reasonable? I'm beginning to think that the best place in the universe is to be on a planet with no people. Then I wouldn't have to put up with such stupidity and lack of logic. Expecting human beings to be rational or equitable is a dream best left to the insane.

On the positive side, came up with the second rule of idiotic project management.

The 7 Phases of a Project (or Project Cycles for Idiots)

1. Wild enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Confusion
4. Panic (Accompanied by frantic midnight call to resident genius to fix the mess.)
5. Search for the guilty
6. Punishment of the innocent.
7. Promotion of the clueless. (Three guesses on who that would be, if you need them.)
Avon barely amused
Comments 
10th-May-2009 06:06 pm (UTC)
*warning* one day a man named Blake will read your 7 Phases of a Project and live his live by its mantra.

You will regret this. A lot.
10th-May-2009 06:20 pm (UTC)
Perhaps it's time to look for that planet. The sooner the better.
10th-May-2009 09:04 pm (UTC)
I'd join you, but that would kinda defeat the object....

10th-May-2009 09:29 pm (UTC)
Well now, let me rephrase that. I meant a planet devoid of overbearing fools. Of course, I will require proof of intelligence and a trial period would be mandatory.
11th-May-2009 06:17 am (UTC)
And that trial would involve.....? How about I just get a neighbouring empty planet & nip across for conjugal visits ;-p
11th-May-2009 11:51 am (UTC)
That would be acceptable.
10th-May-2009 07:34 pm (UTC)
Trust Avon to come out with such a logical project plan.
10th-May-2009 08:02 pm (UTC)
Trying to understand chaos...only makes me want to pursue other avenues for profit and mental sanity.
10th-May-2009 11:27 pm (UTC)
You left out the "movement stalled" in the committee stage.

The manager didn't have dark curly hair by any chance?
10th-May-2009 11:39 pm (UTC)
The manager didn't have dark curly hair by any chance?

Do you know someone similar who has that kind of hair?

You left out the "movement stalled" in the committee stage.

I didn't forget. The idiot (and cluelessly arrogant) manager avoids that faux pas by thinking that he is the entire committee, hence the lack of input from anyone remotely possessing a brain.


Edited at 2009-05-11 01:49 am (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
11th-May-2009 01:51 am (UTC)
It's scary how often this kind of management occurs.
(Deleted comment)
11th-May-2009 03:27 am (UTC)
Yes, the stage where you wonder if it might be less painful to jump out of the airplane now, even without a parachute.
12th-May-2009 04:09 pm (UTC)
Can I get an Amen???



Good god, this is my life with the Eletronic Health Records preparing to go online.
12th-May-2009 04:21 pm (UTC)
Amen.
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