This is inspired by entropy_house
's reference to a Chuck Norrishawk in her post.
There is a strange internet phenomenom surrounding the actor, Chuck Norris that has become widespread in popular culture. Why? I don't have a clue. But even a non-Chuck fan like me can get a Chuck-le out of these...
1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
5. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
6. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
7. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
8. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
9. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
10. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
11. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
12. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
13. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
14. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
15. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
16. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
17. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
18. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
19. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
20. Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
21. Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
22. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
23. While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
24. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
25. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.