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Random Musings
one-liners 
6th-Feb-2009 08:50 pm

1. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
2. Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
3. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
4. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
5. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
6. Never answer an anonymous letter.
7. It's lonely at the top; but you do eat better.
8. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
9. Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.
10. Few women admit their age; few men act it.
11. You can't have everything; where would you put it?
12. Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
13. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
14. We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"?
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.
17. Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
18. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
19. There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
20. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
21. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
22. Save a tree. Eat a beaver.
23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
24. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
25. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Avon Cally Hold
Comments 
7th-Feb-2009 08:31 am (UTC)
Cute!
7th-Feb-2009 10:48 am (UTC)
They are great - may I share?
7th-Feb-2009 02:20 pm (UTC)
Sure go ahead.
8th-Feb-2009 04:56 am (UTC)
I really liked #5
#9 had me a mental image of zombies attending funerals! (well I suppose it makes sure the corpse is fresh).
#8 is so true!
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